And These Are The Days I'll Always Remember...

There are so many times in my life that are so filled with memories. I'll never forget them, and I hope the people that made those times unforgettable will always remember them as well..

Lacey, Alina, Paige, Kayla, Nick 'Chicken', Wesley, and so many more people.

THAT summer. Quail Ridge. We had all of the friends we needed there, and so many more unforgettable moments. Graffiti Park, The woods, The tennis courts, each of your apartments, my apartment, the golf course, and the bar down the road, Bawls, cigarettes, the pool, and the woods across the street, the park.

'Everyone on Jaime's back!'

'Do you have a problem with bisexual people?'

'I bet you can't take a hit of this cigarette without choking!'

'Isn't your dad's phone in your pocket?' 'Yeah..' 'Dude, your pocket is under water...'

Truth or Dare

The Nervous Game

'Let's all make out at the same time..'

Spin the bottle at Justin's house

Finding Nemo at Alina's.

'It's just like Kasey's penis...only bigger'

Rolling houses on Paige's birthday.

Skating at the tennis courts.

Making out..and more at the park.

Going up to Coaches to get my dad to give us money..then spending it on cigarettes.

Vote for Pedro!

I want my MOOOOTHER!

I liiike biscuits...johnny.

The LLC.

B-A-N-A-N-A-S/B-R-A-N-D-O-N

Kayla belting out 'Scars' twenty four seven.

Riding around with Nik Little.

'You're a McButt!'

I <3 North Carolina....

Caty Downes.

Of course you have to have a section all to yourself. You were my bestfriend, and no matter what we always got into mischief. There are so many things that we've gone through and done together, that I'll never forget, but I'll just name a few.

MONO DAYS.

When you were at my house, and you said you had to go home, and Basshunter's 'Now You're Gone' automatically came on.

Riding around in our pajamas everywhere.

Smoking cigarettes like we were addicted to heroin.

The shows.

The bumming.

The boys.

The parties.

Hanging out in the 'green room' with the shag carpeting because we were too lazy to go downstairs.

How you used to take a drink after inhaling your cigarette, but before exhaling.

'So this is where the cops hang out at night..' (McDonald's in Bartlett)

I'm gonna just attach myself to the cutest boy there. (Now, I have a baby with him...ironic.

(Too bad none of the boys there were cute...)

Toaster!

The apartment.

That stupid baby that cried all night...you know, the one you threatened to throw out of the window at the apartment...

Our moms hating eachother...and whichever one of us wasn't their child.

The long nights that melted into days because of certain substances.

The first time you smoked ganja...and turned into a zombie...

I <3 you Caty Downes.

I'll do more later. This is just what I was thinking about tonight.

My Fantastically Screwed So Called Life.

Writing used to always make me understand every sort of situation in a better light. However, lately all of the words are there, but putting the sentences together is just a cluster-f*ck of words that mean absolutely nothing.

There's so many confusing elements of life, and I just wish there was a rewind button, or even just a pause and contemplate button. It's taken me this long, and about a million mistakes to realize the pause button I'm looking for is there, I just have to teach myself to use it. I've made so many mistakes, and if I would have been rational, or even thought about the situation at all, I could have prevented even the worst mistake I've ever made.

***I would like to input here that Kayleigh is not the mistake I'm referring to. In fact, everyone should know Kayleigh is NOT a mistake in any way. (:

There's a huge mistake that I need advice on, and the only advice I've gotten isn't helpful in any way at all /:

To be vague while still getting the point across:

There's this boy, and I'm completely in love with him. He was my first true love, even though it took me forever to realize. Now what we've decided is 'friends', but can anyone but me grasp how hard being only a friend is? It's like seeing your best friend, and having to completely ignore every inside joke, every memory, every single thing that made you inseparable, kind of like you just met this person. That's what I guess I have to do though, treat the situation as if I just met him. The only problem is every time I see him every instinct I have is telling me how much I miss him. It hurts to be his friend, because I can't stand what I've done to him, or what it's doing to me now. I just couldn't stand walking away. Without him in my life, so many things are wrong. When he's there, it's like everything's better, just by his presence.

I sound dumb, so I'll end on this note. Anyone, anyone at all who stumbles upon this blog, any advice is good advice, because I'm completely lost. In other words, HELP.